Whatever you want, You're so fucking special

Oh Radiohead, Radiohead, Radiohead... how you remind me of Bret Lanier, and his long-lost but never once forgotten "Raptor" impression.

"Oh, I have made myself a tribe out of my true affections, and my tribe is scattered! How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses?" -From The Layers, by Stanley Kunitz

There are things in life we don't expect. That one special person we think we'll end up with, do we really? Or is the secret of life really hiding in the unexpected? Friends we think we'll have forever, perhaps we take them for granted, like we do our lovers on occasion. And then one night, they're gone... stolen from their own front door step. True death or "felt" death -- I'm not so sure there is a difference when the loss amounts to the same level of being without.

Two gut-renching movies, with two very different endings: Children of Men; Slumdog Millionaire. I watched them both today, and I feel emotionally exhausted. Some days we don't really get to decide what we truly want to do. If I'd had it my way today, I would have stayed at home all day, cleaned out my closets... studied. Some invisible force still drives us onward, and we deal with the changes as they come, as best we can.

I had prepared a list of "rants" today, mainly against the ridiculousness of pop-culture and the strange society I constantly find myself not understanding. Actually, I think it's not that I don't understand it... I think I just choose not to. I've been called naive for being so "out of touch." Is it really naivete?? Or just conscious aloofness? Still, I know I am as much a product of this society as I am human. The two are imbedded in one another. Unless I were enlightened. But that would be a bird of another color!

There's really no point to this post. I hope my one intended reader, Misses Sapoznick, wont be expecting one from me. But I hope she knows I'm thinking of her (and praying we both have cameras soon to keep taking our pictures!), that I love her and miss her tenderly... and I hope, that I never once take her presence in my life for granted. Sometimes, I think it's really all I've got to hold on to.